


More than Words by babs

by babs



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-17
Updated: 2011-04-17
Packaged: 2017-10-18 06:28:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/185985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babs/pseuds/babs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daniel and Jack deal with some lasting effects from Daniel's experiences in Central America.</p>
            </blockquote>





	More than Words by babs

"Daniel?"

Jack kept his eye on Daniel's pulled back arm, not sure if he was going to get clobbered by the rock or not. Daniel's eyes were wide and he still wasn't quite registering Jack's presence.

Shock. It was shock, pure and simple. Jack had seen the look on other teammates what seemed like lifetimes ago. The bruised face, the wild eyes--Jack didn't like what he saw, not one bit.

'Okay, just take it nice and easy, nice and slow,' Jack reminded himself. He moved a little closer and reached out to touch Daniel's thigh.

"What are you doing here?" Daniel asked, bewildered, his voice strained and cracking.

"Oh you know. Thought I'd see what trouble you'd gotten yourself into." Good. Keep it light. Don't push.

"Oh."

That was it. That was as much as Jack could hope for at the moment. Daniel shifted on the ground, letting out a grunt and favoring his right leg.

He touched Daniel's thigh. "Shot?"

"Yeah." Daniel stared at him as if he still wasn't sure Jack was actually there or just a figment of his imagination.

"Can you turn a little bit? Let me see?" Jack moved his hand to Daniel's shoulder, hopefully grounding him, letting him know the cavalry, or at least Jack O'Neill, had arrived.

Daniel hitched himself up on his left hip, grunting as he moved his right leg.

"Well there's not much I can do here," Jack announced after checking out Daniel's leg. What Daniel needed, meds and a nice comfy bed in an infirmary, Jack couldn't provide. And even though he had a medkit in his pack, he wanted to get Daniel out of here, away from the death before he did much of anything. He tied a bandana around Daniel's leg. Not much, but it would do until they made their way back to wherever it was Daniel had been. He didn't think Daniel had made it that far in his condition.

Daniel blinked at him again. Jack gave him a grim smile, realizing that to Daniel he was probably fast becoming a big blur. Without his glasses, Daniel looked even more vulnerable, his eyes wide, pupils dilated.

"You gonna be able to walk on this?" which when Jack thought about it was probably the stupidest question ever to ask Daniel. Knowing Daniel, and Jack prided himself on that, he'd always say he was fine, he could walk on it. And if Daniel couldn't walk, he'd crawl, all the while insisting he could keep up.

And...what the shit was that? Wasn't everyone dead? Hadn't Daniel just said that?

Daniel began blabbering about the Tele-Tubby device, or whatever the hell it had been called, which just went to show how far gone Daniel was because, as far as Jack was concerned, when some previously dead guy starts shooting at you, your first line of thought should be take cover.

He pulled Daniel behind the tree and then began shooting. Daniel gave a strange little sound, almost a laugh, but Jack couldn't spare a glimpse for him.

Okay. This was not good. You shoot someone with a gun, he's supposed to fall down and go boom, not keep coming at you.

Burke yelled and Jack ducked back, covering Daniel's head with his arms when Daniel made no effort to move. With all the violence Jack guessed Daniel had been through, watching someone being blown to bits by a rocket really wasn't something else he needed to see.

Daniel's body was stiff against his, and he half-expected him to pull away. The sour smell of sweat and urine filled Jack's nose and he didn't want to think about what that could possibly mean.

"It's gonna be okay," Jack said. He'd found Daniel--things only could get better from here on out. "C'mon."

"I can walk," Daniel said when Jack offered him a hand.

"Humor me." Jack wondered how long the adrenaline coursing through Daniel's system was going to last. He knew from experience the crash would be coming--he just wasn't able to predict when.  


* * *

"Air Rescue will be here in another hour," Burke announced. "Crazy shit," he said, shaking his head with that weird ass grin of his after glancing at Jack, Daniel and Lee. Jack wished Burke would shut up and find somewhere else to be. He was starting to get even more annoying than usual.

Doctor Lee blinked a few times before walking over to a table and putting the device down. Jack didn't miss Daniel's wary glances at it. At the moment, Jack had interpreted Daniel's hopping away from Lee as a sort of a joke--a little moment to alleviate the growing tension. And now, looking at Daniel's eyes, he realized it hadn't been that at all. It was fear; pure, unadulterated fear.

"You hungry?" Jack asked.

Daniel shook his head. "I'm okay."

"You should eat. You and Lee both."

Jack motioned for the two of them to follow and he went towards one of the tents. He'd been tortured a time or three and he knew the whole food and water deprivation routine. Jack looked back to see both Daniel and Lee standing outside the hut.

"Cots, chairs. You can both eat a little and rest until air rescue gets here."

"Um, I think we'd rather stay outside, Jack," Daniel said. Neutral expression, Jack noted. Neutral expression which meant a whole heck of lot more was going on.

"Fine with me," Jack said. He came back out into the sunshine and pulled two power bars from his pocket. Lee took his with a mumbled thanks and wandered off.

"Daniel?"

"Huh?"

Daniel looked first at him and then at the outstretched bar in confusion.

"Eat." Jack unwrapped it for him. When Daniel made no move to take it, Jack knew it was time to take matters into his own hands. He went back in the hut, pulled out a camp chair and placed it in the center of the clearing. Then he returned to Daniel, putting an arm around his waist and urging him forward. Under his fingers, Jack could feel the slight trembling of overtaxed muscles, the heat of what was probably the beginning of an infection. "Let's get you sitting down," he said, automatically gentling his voice. He eased Daniel onto the chair and put the power bar in his hand. A slight touch and Daniel seemed to realize he had food. Jack waited until he'd taken a bite and began to chew it before taking another look around the camp.

He glanced back once to see Bill Lee sitting on the ground beside Daniel's chair. Jack didn't know what they were talking about, but he saw Daniel place a hand on Lee's shoulder and shake his head. Turning his attention back to the camp, Jack entered one of the huts and immediately wished he hadn't. The battery, the blood on the ground, the rope ties on the chair, all of it gave him the information he doubted he'd ever get from Daniel.

"Colonel O'Neill!" Lee's panicked shout rang out, penetrating the gloom in the hut, and Jack ran outside, his heart pounding, making a beeline straight for Daniel.

"Jack? Jack?" Daniel asked his voice higher and confused. His body shook and the gaze that met Jack's was unfocused and jittery.

"I'm here, Daniel." Jack knelt on the ground front of him.

"I'm cold," Daniel managed to grit out between his chattering teeth. "It's cold."

Shit.

"Where the hell is Air Rescue, Burke?" Jack yelled and then regretted it when Daniel winced and jerked back. "Lee, see if you can find some blankets."

"Jack?"

"I'm here, Danny." Jack put two fingers on Daniel's cheek, turning his head so that Daniel could see he was there. "How about we get you lying down?"

Daniel stiffened despite his shivering. "N...no. N...not in there."

"Not gonna do that, buddy. We'll stay right here." Jack kept his voice low and steady. He eased Daniel off of the chair, onto the ground, and finally onto his back. Jack put his palm against Daniel's chest, feeling the racing heartbeat.

"What's goin' on?" Burke said as he looked down and blew a bubble.

Jack squinted up at him and shook his head. Lee came back at an awkward run.

"Here, Colonel. Will these help?"

"Fold them, put them under his legs. We need to get them elevated," he ordered. Jack undid the straps of his pack, pulling it around to find the space blanket he knew was in a pocket. He unfolded it and tucked it around Daniel's shoulders. "You're gonna be fine, Daniel. Help'll be here soon."

"He's not looking too great."

Well duh. It took all of Jack's self-control to not stand up and throttle Burke, or at least take that goddamn gum out of his mouth. If he popped another...

"No!" Daniel yelled. He brought his arms up to cover his head. "No!"

"Geesh," Burke muttered.

"Will you shut up? Go find somewhere else to be!" Jack scowled. Evidently it was threatening enough because Burke got the message and hightailed it over to stand by one of the huts.

"Sorry. Sorry. Sorry," Daniel chanted, looking at Jack.

"No. Not you, Daniel."

He pushed back the sweaty strands of Daniel's hair. "Just between you and me, Burke's chewing gum like a cow is getting on my nerves."

Daniel gave a rough laugh. "Yeah."

"Rest now," Jack said, moving his hand to Daniel's shoulder and rubbing his thumb on his collarbone. Daniel let out a little sigh and closed his eyes. It didn't take long until sleep, or maybe it was unconsciousness, claimed him.  


* * *

"Colonel O'Neill?"

"Yeah?"

"Is Daniel...what did they...is he going to be okay?" Doctor Lee stumbled over the whispered words.

Jack looked over at Daniel, strapped to a gurney and sound asleep with God knew what dripping through his IV, before looking back at Lee. "Yeah." Jack drummed his fingers on his thigh. He wanted to get Daniel home into the kindly clutches of Janet Fraiser. Thank God Hammond had managed to get them transport on this plane along with a medic. Jack wanted to be back at the SGC. Alien technology had been involved. Sue him for not trusting alien stuff around his people.

"He was tortured, you know," Lee pointed out.

"I kinda figured that," Jack said and then regretted how short he'd sounded. He touched the back of Daniel's hand. The skin was warmer than it should be. Damn, he wanted to be home.

"I think...I think they were rougher on him than on me," Lee added. He moved and Jack saw him reach out to touch Daniel's blanket covered foot. "He saved my, our lives."

"Yeah, he has a habit of doing that." He didn't add that it was a habit Jack wasn't particularly fond of, considering most times Daniel wound up hurt, or even temporarily dead, while saving said lives. He and Daniel were going to have to have a talk about that propensity again. No they wouldn't, Jack thought seconds later; a Daniel who didn't rush in where angels feared to tread wouldn't be the Daniel that Jack knew and loved.

The medic assigned to the flight gave both men an apologetic smile as he moved to the gurney. "I need to check his vitals, sirs."

Jack nodded and moved back to his seat, watching as Lee did the same. The medic performed his job with careful, precise efficiency.

"How's he doing?" Jack asked when the man had finished his exam.

"Temperature is slightly elevated but he's stable," the medic reported. "We'll be landing at Petersen in an hour, sir. They're prepared for him."

Jack nodded and closed his eyes for a minute. He opened them and leaned across the aisle to speak quietly to him. "Hear that? We're on our way home." But his partner remained silent.  


* * *

Fraiser was on the tarmac waiting when Daniel was carried off the plane. Jack shivered as the colder air hit him, but Daniel remained oblivious to the hustle and bustle surrounding their arrival. The medic began talking to Fraiser and Jack peered blearily at his surroundings. He felt weary down to his bones.

"Sir?"

Jack looked at the young lieutenant standing before him. Young, impossibly so, while Jack felt as if he'd aged a hundred years.

"I've been asked to drive you back to the Mountain," she said in a crisp professional tone.

"The ambulance?" Jack took a step towards the vehicle that was already pulling away.

"I'm sorry, sir, but with Doctors Lee and Jackson...there simply wasn't room," she explained.

He nodded to her and followed to the waiting car, closing his eyes as she turned the heat on full blast. Just a few minutes to get his bearings and then he'd be back in command. Just a few minutes--that was all he needed.  


* * *

"Sir," the lieutenant's voice invaded his sleep and Jack was instantly awake. A quick glance around told him they'd arrived back at the base.

"Doctors Jackson and Lee have been taken to the infirmary, sir," she informed him with a smile. "General Hammond requests that you report to him upon arrival."

Jack smiled back despite the ache it caused. It certainly wasn't the lieutenant's fault things had gone to hell in a handbasket. "Thank you, Lieutenant..."

"Loring, sir," she finished.

"Dismissed, Lieutenant," Jack ordered as she waited.

"Yes, sir," she said and then hesitated. "I hope the doctors are well, sir."

"Thank you," Jack returned. He hoped so too.

Five minutes later, seated in the briefing room with General Hammond, another scientist from Lee's department and one from Daniel's, Jack began his report. At least what he could tell them. The scientists nodded at what Jack suspected were all the right places and he swore he could see their fingers twitching to get their hands on the device.

Memories of being fired on by someone who'd been dead and then shot again made Jack shiver. "General Hammond, sir, it's my recommendation that the Tel'chak device be destroyed."

"Destroyed?" the archaeologist asked in amazement. "Do you realize..."

Jack held up his hand. "That's just it. I *do* understand. I saw what this device could do." He turned back to Hammond. "If not destroyed then at least put in...I don't know...stasis or something...so no one can fiddle with it." He wasn't about to admit fear in front of a bunch of scientists, but the truth was the device was incredibly dangerous and knowing that Daniel had been exposed to it scared him shitless.

Hammond sat back in his chair, hands folded. He leaned forward suddenly and nodded once. "I want the Tel'chak locked up until we get more information from both Doctor Jackson and Doctor Lee."

"Yes, sir," both scientists answered.

"Dismissed, gentlemen," Hammond said. "Except for you, Colonel."

Jack resisted the urge to play with the pen in front of him and settled for jiggling his knee instead.

"How bad was it, Jack?" Hammond asked softly.

Jack swallowed. "Not good, sir. Lee isn't in as bad a shape as Daniel. He, I mean, Lee told me he thinks they were rougher on Daniel." He glanced down at the table. "You know Daniel...Goa'uld baiter."

"Except these were fellow human beings," Hammond added.

"Yeah, there is that."

Jack fidgeted uncomfortable with that thought. "Sir?"

"You can go check on him. And then I think you should take some time to get some rest. You look like something the cat dragged in."

"That good, huh?"

"That good."  


* * *

Jack turned over in bed, reaching out a hand for Daniel before he remembered where he was. He sat up and turned on the bedside lamp. 0400. At the SGC. Daniel had been in surgery when he'd left General Hammond in the briefing room, and despite his wanting to stay there until Daniel came out of the operating room, his own weariness had gotten the best of him and he'd gone to his on-base quarters telling himself he'd just lie down for a few minutes, just until Daniel was out of surgery and he could see him. Obviously that plan hadn't worked.

It didn't take Jack long to shower and get dressed. He hoped Fraiser was on duty--she was much more likely to be lenient and let him catch a glimpse of Daniel than some of the other doctors.

As he entered the hushed infirmary a few minutes later, Jack spied Doctor Lee sleeping on the first bed. He couldn't see any monitors which he figured boded well.

In the far corner, curtains were pulled around another bed and as Jack approached he could hear soft voices.

"Knock, knock," he said keeping his voice down.

"Colonel," Doctor Warner came out from behind the curtain with a smile on his face, "Doctor Fraiser said I should be expecting you."

"Daniel?"

"He came through the surgery just fine. He has an infection which we're treating with antibiotics, and we're still working on combating the dehydration, but I don't foresee any complications with his recovery. I suspect that in a day or two Doctor Jackson is going to demand to be released from the infirmary."

Jack took in the information with an inward sigh of relief. It could have been so much worse. "Is it okay if I...?" he motioned towards the curtains.

"Go ahead, sir. Don't expect too much if he does wake up. We have him on some strong painkillers," Warner said. "Doctor Fraiser will be back to check on him in an hour."

Jack nodded and slipped through the curtain.

"Ah, Danny," he whispered upon catching his first glimpse of his partner. The hours since Daniel's rescue had only served to accentuate what he'd gone through at the hands of the guerillas. Leads snaked out from under Daniel's gown and a quick glance confirmed that at least one was recording Daniel's heartbeat. Jack could hear a slight rasp to Daniel's breathing and guessed that was the reason for the nasal cannula. The sheet was on a frame over Daniel's legs, keeping the weight off of the injured limb. An assortment of IV bags hung on poles. Jack looked away from the port on Daniel's arm and focused instead on Daniel's face.

He reached out carefully and touched one finger to Daniel's cheek. Still hot, maybe even hotter than he'd been on the plane. Jack frowned.

"Huh?" Daniel grunted. He licked his lips and his eyelashes fluttered.

"Sorry, sorry," Jack whispered.

Daniel opened his eyes and stared at Jack, fever-glazed and confused.

"We're home, Daniel," Jack said softly. "Safe and sound."

"Don't let them get it," Daniel whispered in a cracked voice. "I didn't tell them...I did..." his voice trailed off as he drifted off again.

"I know."

Jack felt his gut clench. He pulled a nearby stool closer and sat down, covering Daniel's hand with his. He rubbed his thumb along the back of Daniel's hand. He wasn't sure who was comforted more by the gesture--him or Daniel.

He sat there through the nurses' ten minute checks and was still sitting when Fraiser showed up. She took a quick glance at the monitors before smiling at Jack.

"His fever's come down a little bit in the last hour," she reported. "That's good to see."

Jack looked at Daniel's face, pale, except for a scrape he'd noticed in the jungle, his lips chapped. "He's not making too much sense."

"That's to be expected, sir. Between the anesthesia and the painkillers I'm not expecting coherence for a few hours." Fraiser leaned over the bed, taking Daniel's wrist between her fingers. Jack was silent while she counted his pulse.

"Doctor Jackson?' Fraiser called. "Can you wake up for me?"

"Uh-huh," Daniel mumbled. He opened his eyes but Jack could see he still wasn't too aware of his surroundings. "Infirmary?"

"That's right. You've had surgery on your leg. Do you remember?"

Daniel just lay there staring up at Fraiser. "I was shot?"

It was a question not a statement. Jack exchanged a look with Fraiser but she didn't seem unduly worried.

"You were shot, Daniel," Jack said. Daniel turned his head to look at him and a slow sweet smile appeared.

"You're here, Jack?"

"Yeah, I'm here."

"Okay. That's nice." Daniel closed his eyes once more only to open them in alarm. He struggled to sit up in the bed, pushing at Fraiser and then Jack.

"Bill! I need to find Bill! He's in the jungle. I had to leave him," Daniel panted, clutching at Jack's shirt. Jack covered Daniel's trembling fingers.

"Bill is here. He's gonna be fine. He's going home in a few hours."

"He's...they tortured him, Jack."

"I know. Now how about you get some more sleep?"

"I'm cold. It was hot but now I'm cold," Daniel whispered, as he began to shiver.

"You have an infection," Fraiser explained. "We're giving you medicine for it."

Daniel looked at her with a little more understanding than they'd first seen and gave a slow nod. He lay back down and blinked up at Jack a few more times. Jack made a mental note to get Daniel's spare glasses from his office. Surely being able to see one's surroundings would help get him a little more oriented. Daniel let out a little sigh and turned on his side.

"Doc?" Jack motioned.

"I'll send Martha over with some pillows. We'll use them as bolsters," Fraiser replied. She patted Daniel's shoulder before walking away to find the nurse.

"Jack," Daniel said.

"Yeah?" Jack bent down so Daniel could see him, but his partner said nothing further, already relaxed in sleep once more. Jack rested the back of his hand against Daniel's forehead, relieved to notice his skin wasn't as hot as it had been earlier. He rubbed Daniel's temple when he frowned in his sleep. His imagination could fill in the blanks--it wouldn't surprise him if bad dreams became SOP for Daniel for awhile. But for now, for a few more hours, Jack could hope that the combination of medication, exhaustion, and fever kept the dreams at bay.  


* * *

"You've got to be kidding me." Jack looked Daniel standing hunched over on his crutches in the hallway.

"Janet said I was allowed to be up."

Oh great, now Jack was going to have to deal with stubborn Daniel. He gave a long-suffering sigh and held up his hand, beginning to tick off, "Let's review, shall we? One, three days ago you were lying in the infirmary recovering from surgery to remove a bullet. Two, three days ago you had a fever of one hundred and two and didn't know your ass from a hole in the ground. Three, Doc didn't say release from the infirmary meant gallivanting all over the base. Four..."

"Can we cut it with the lecture, Jack?" Daniel interrupted. "I'd like to get to the Gate room in time to welcome Sam and Teal'c home."

"Well with the way you're using those crutches it'll be a miracle if you don't fall and break your neck," Jack griped. "Didn't anyone take the time to tell you how to use them?"

Daniel ignored him. "Gallivanting? I'm impressed."

"Ha ha," Jack said, deliberately slowing his pace to match Daniel's awkward hobble with a pair of crutches that didn't fit. He kept giving sideways glances at him, concerned that Daniel seemed oblivious to them.

Carter, Teal'c, Bra'tac, and Jacob Carter came through the Gate as scheduled. Jack didn't miss Carter's eyes widen as she saw Daniel. He hoped she wasn't going to burst out crying or something. She gave Daniel a hug and caught Jack's eye. He shook his head slightly, in a signal that all SG-1 knew meant later.

Daniel began his retreat even before the others were done talking. Teal'c followed along with Jacob and Bra'tac.

"Lunch," he offered Carter. He'd catch her up there. She didn't believe Daniel's statement that he was okay any more than Jack did. And Carter didn't even know the whole story yet.

Carter remained silent until they left the Gate room. "Sir, what happened?"

Jack looked straight ahead. "It was bad, Carter. And I was nearly too late." There. He'd said it. The one thing he hadn't wanted to admit.

A commotion in the hallway ahead caught both of their attentions. Jack began to run when he heard Teal'c.

"DanielJackson."

"Crap," Jack muttered as he crouched down beside Daniel who was sitting against the wall.

"I just lost my balance," Daniel muttered. "Help me up."

He stretched out one arm which everyone ignored.

"You're sick, Danny," Jacob said. He crouched down on Daniel's other side. "I think you should go to the infirmary."

"No. really. I am fine. Janet let me out earlier today." Daniel placed one hand on the floor getting ready to push himself up.

"Ack," Jack warned, putting a hand on Daniel's shoulder. Heat bled through the shirt and warmed Jack's fingers. "Infirmary."

Daniel ducked his head and muttered something Jack didn't quite catch.

"I will accompany you," Teal'c said.

Jack turned to look up at Teal'c and understood, Daniel, on the floor, in front of Bra'tac and Jacob Carter, something that had to be embarrassing for him. Certainly being carried to the infirmary was something Daniel would want to avoid at all costs. Jack motioned for Jacob to back away and motioned for Teal'c to take his place.

"On three, Daniel," Jack said as Teal'c put his hand on Daniel's arm.

Daniel kept his eyes closed and Jack saw him bite his lip as they helped him regain his feet. Daniel shivered under his touch.

"Easy does it."

Daniel said nothing and Jack felt his heart crack just a little.  


* * *

"For the hundredth time, no, I do not need a blanket. No, I do not need a glass of water, warm milk, or anything else to drink. And no, I most definitely do not need a nap."

"Just thought I'd ask." Jack shrugged his shoulders. Daniel glared at him from his position on Jack's couch.

"Well don't. Don't ask anymore," Daniel said. He turned his attention to the book he was reading. Or, Jack suspected, was pretending to read.

Jack settled in his recliner and picked up a book of crossword puzzles. Daniel's impatience and anger was understandable--a fight for regaining a sense of control when he'd spent time in a situation where he had none, not to mention a leg that still pained him and an infection that wouldn't quite let go its hold. An uneasy silence descended on the room. Jack shifted in his chair, just enough to keep an eye on Daniel who probably wouldn't appreciate any type of scrutiny.

Daniel was fidgeting. And Daniel didn't fidget. At least not when he was reading or doing research. Jack had never known anyone who would lose himself in a book quite like Daniel could. But now, since the return from Central America, it seemed the solace was denied him. As Jack watched, Daniel turned pages in rapid succession, then turned them back, frowning at the words on the page as if they were somehow in a conspiracy against him.

Maybe a nice fire would help set a better mood, Jack thought and got up to start one. He grabbed the poker, using it to push one of the old logs to the side.

A car backfired outside--probably the Hopkins' kid's old beat up Chevy again. Jack turned to tell Daniel and froze.

Daniel was on the floor, hands on top of his head, protecting himself.

"Daniel?" Jack took a step closer.

"I won't tell you anything," Daniel snarled up at him. His gaze darted to the side and he licked his lips in a nervous gesture familiar to Jack. "Go ahead, kill me. I'm not any good to you dead."

Jack realized he still held the poker and he reached back, putting it on the hearth. No reason to give Daniel a handy weapon while in the throes of a flashback.

"Go ahead." Daniel still knelt but he had straightened and looked in Jack's eyes. "Kill me. Bill is safe. I'm not going to tell you a thing."

"Daniel, it's me." Jack kept his distance. Even though Daniel wasn't fully recovered, Jack had no doubt Daniel would fight with all his strength. Jack really didn't want a head butt in the groin, to be bitten, or any of the other survival tricks he figured Daniel might use. But damn, kneeling like that had to hurt. He wished he could simply grab Daniel and shake him out of the flashback, but he'd been there, done that, and got a punch in the nose for his troubles. "It's me, buddy. Jack."

Daniel said nothing simply kept his wary gaze on Jack's every movement.

"So I was thinking," Jack continued, keeping his voice low and calm, "we do some yard work tomorrow. I'll even let you use the weed whacker, as long as you use it to whack weeds and not flowers you think look like weeds like you did last time. And then maybe we can call Carter and Teal'c and ask them over for dinner. We can grill some steaks and we'll run down to Katie's and pick up a cheesecake or two for dessert. Or I can dig out the ice cream freezer and we can make some of that. Hey, I'll even let you buy the beer this time around."

As Jack watched, Daniel leaned forward until his forehead touched the floor.

"Daniel?"

He heard Daniel take in gulping breaths, watched as Daniel's shoulders heaved. Cursing his own knees, Jack got down on the floor and reached out. "Daniel."

Daniel twisted and wound up sitting on his ass. He kept his hands at his face, only shaking his head when Jack touched his arm. "Go away."

"And why would I want to do that?" Jack asked. There was no answer, although Jack already knew it. "It was a flashback. Did you think you were immune to them?"

Daniel looked up at that. "I'm not stupid, Jack."

"Did I say you were?"

"I know the whole drill. Janet made sure of that, even required the mandatory talk with Mackenzie." Daniel shifted his gaze, turning his attention to a dust bunny on the floor.

"Sooo?" Jack drew out the word.

"So I know what to expect. I *knew* what to expect before..." Daniel exhaled in a gust. "Doesn't mean I have to like it happening."

"Nope. Doesn't mean that at all," Jack said. He got up, stifling a grumble at the creak he heard in his knees and held out a hand to his partner and waited.

Squinting up at him and then sighing, Daniel took Jack's outstretched hand and got to his feet. He swayed slightly. "Must have gotten up too fast."

"Want something to eat?" Jack didn't push. Daniel didn't need it, Jack didn't want it. "Your blood sugar is probably low," he offered as an explanation.

Daniel gave a shaky nod and slightly less shaky smile, but when Jack put an arm around his shoulder, he pushed it off and grabbed the cane he still needed for support.

Jack walked ahead and started pulling food from cupboards and the refrigerator.

"Whatcha want to eat?"

He got a shrug in response as Daniel settled at the kitchen table, but he didn't miss the longing glance towards the coffee maker. Without comment, Jack pulled out the coffee canister and filters proceeding to start a fresh pot.

"Scrambled eggs okay?"

Daniel nodded.

"Want to put some bread in the toaster?" Jack asked as he began to cook the eggs.

He heard Daniel rustling with the bread bag and then the few limping steps to the toaster on the counter. And then there was nothing except the sound of coffee dripping, the sizzle of the butter in the pan, and the soft scrape of the spatula as Jack turned the eggs. Nothing--as in...

"Daniel?"

Daniel stared at the toaster. Two slices of bread were in the slots, ready to be pushed down and toasted, but Daniel wasn't moving, just staring, his fingers splayed flat on the countertop, pushed down so hard his nails were white.

"Electricity is a funny thing," Daniel finally said. "Provides so many things. Light, heat, enter...entertainment. Did you know he laughed when he had me hooked up to his little torture device? Said he was having fun." Daniel pushed away from the counter and turned to face Jack. His face was pale, but set with an expression of determination, determination that Jack knew was the reason Daniel survived all the shit life threw at him. "He started up here," Daniel made a vague gesture to his chest, "and then he moved down until..." He motioned his hand towards his groin and then Daniel looked down at the floor. "Did you...I mean, did Janet tell..."

Jack shook his head, his mouth dry. "I wasn't sure. I kinda guessed. I saw the burns, you know?"

"Not all of them," Daniel said, his voice short and tight. Jack felt his stomach churn at the thought. He knew. Oh God, he knew and it explained so much. Explained why Daniel slept as far away from Jack as he could get in their big bed. Explained why he'd wake up in the middle of the night and hear Daniel in the bathroom and lie there awake until Daniel came out fifteen minutes later. "There's no permanent damage," Daniel continued. His tone had changed to one of detachment. "And I guess I should be grateful. He didn't rape me." He stared at Jack, unblinking. "When you were...Special Ops...did you...?" He made a circling motion with one finger around his groin.

"Do you really want to know? If I could tell you?"

Crossing his arms over his chest, Daniel then turned away, anger radiating from his posture. "I would have killed him with my bare hands if I'd had the chance. If I could have gotten my hands on one of the guns..." He paused, pulling off his glasses and wiping at his face. "Sorry."

Jack moved closer and put his arm around Daniel's shoulders. "Don't be. You know this is all normal right? And that it's okay?"

Daniel nodded but said nothing. He leaned into Jack's embrace, and Jack could feel hot dampness soaking into his sweatshirt. He tightened his hold, supporting Daniel and just stood. No words would be able to take away what happened. No words would make the nightmares disappear. But, Jack knew, and recognized Daniel knew as well, that time would. Jack rested his cheek on Daniel's bowed head and then pressed his lips to Daniel's hair.

He loosened his arms as Daniel tensed in his embrace. Daniel pulled away, and then smiled before ducking his head and wiping his face again.

"Guess I'd better start the toast then."

Jack smiled back, rested his hand on Daniel's shoulder before he gave it a brief squeeze. "Butter, no jam on mine."

Daniel nodded and stepped away. He pushed the lever on the toaster and then grabbed a mug for coffee.

Jack returned to his eggs, glad for the cover of domesticity.  


* * *

"You done?" Jack asked as Daniel used his fork to push around a last few bits of scrambled egg. He waited for a comment before realizing that his partner was more asleep than awake despite the coffee Daniel drank with his meal. Jack got up and grabbed his own plate before reaching across the table to take Daniel's.

"Huh?" Daniel looked up as Jack pulled it away and then gave a sheepish grin. "Sorry. Guess I'm not the best company."

"Why don't you go up to bed while I finish up here?"

When he didn't get more than a nod of agreement, Jack knew how exhausted Daniel must be. Jack waited until he heard the slow tread of Daniel's feet on the stairs before he put the dishes in the sink.

Visions of Raphael and his cohorts came to mind as Jack scrubbed the plates with far more force than necessary to remove the traces of egg. And Daniel's comment--soft as it had been spoken--echoed in his ears. 'Not all of them.' Good God, he'd seen enough--the raw sores on Daniel's chest and stomach when he helped Daniel put on a sweatshirt before coming home a week ago. He should have figured it out. Jack had been on Daniel's end of the torture. He knew. Unlike Daniel who would have went around in circles had he actually killed Raphael or any of his men, Jack had no such qualms. He was glad he'd blown him away. His only regret was that it had been so quick. He looked down at his hands, surprised to find them covered not in blood but in soap suds. But Daniel didn't need his desire for revenge. He didn't need Jack's anger over something that had already happened. Daniel would deal with it like he dealt with so many other things. No, what Daniel needed was to know Jack was with him now.

Jack took his time checking the house before heading up the stairs. He told himself he wasn't being a coward. Daniel would probably be asleep by the time he brushed his teeth and crawled under the covers. Except...

"You still up? I thought you'd be snoring away by now." Jack toed off his sneakers and sat down on the edge of his side of the bed.

"I can't, you know."

"Can't? Didn't Doc give you a few pills in case you have trouble sleeping?"

The bed bounced as Daniel got up. Jack twisted to see Daniel walk to the bathroom so he got up and followed, standing in the doorway while Daniel brushed his teeth.

"Do you want me to get you a pill?"

Daniel ignored him, rinsed his mouth and spit in the sink, then poured a swig of mouthwash into a disposable cup. He gave a self deprecating laugh. "A sleeping pill wouldn't help. Trust me."

"So...?" Jack held his hands out to the side.

Daniel slammed the cup into the sink causing it to crumple flat as a pancake. Jack was sure it didn't provide any satisfaction to Daniel's frustration.

*"You want to see?" Daniel spat out. He pulled off his sweatshirt and then pulled down his sweatpants. "I can't." He pointed to his cock.

Jack kept his face expressionless as he swept his gaze down Daniel's body. The burns on Daniel's chest and abdomen had faded to red peeling skin and the bruises were nothing more than a memory. But Jack hadn't seen, hadn't suspected--no hadn't wanted to believe, that Raphael had used his device below Daniel's belt. A small burn high on Daniel's thigh was still an angry red.

"I've tried, you know, but nothing happens," Daniel continued. "Janet said there's no permanent damage." He repeated what he'd said in the kitchen and Jack wondered how many times since he'd been rescued, Daniel had repeated those words as a mantra.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jack whispered and then regretted it as an accusation.

"What was I going to say? Sorry, Jack, but better make friends with your right hand 'cause I can't get it up anymore?" Daniel shook his head.

"It's not permanent."

"No permanent *damage*. All that means is that everything works like it's supposed to. Janet and I didn't discuss my sex life."

"Daniel."

"I'm going to bed." Daniel walked past him, his shoulder brushing Jack's. "I'm tired."

Jack let him go and walked into the bathroom. He wanted to close the door and pound on the wall until his hands were bloody and the rage he felt was absorbed by the very foundation of his house. But he didn't. He kept the door open and listened as Daniel settled in bed with a grunt. Jack brushed his teeth, staring at himself in the mirror and wondering how on earth to fix the unfixable.  


* * *

Jack pulled back the blankets and got into bed. Daniel was curled on his side, his back to Jack. He'd put a t-shirt on. Jack wasn't surprised.

"Daniel?" Jack whispered. If Daniel was asleep he didn't want to wake him and he knew the confession, good as it might have been for Daniel's soul, had been difficult for Daniel. There was no answer, only the slow steady sound of Daniel's breathing. Jack reached out his hand and stopped just shy of touching Daniel's exposed shoulder. Much as he wanted to take the lead, he knew this time around the first move needed to be left to Daniel. "Sleep well," he said into the darkness before closing his eyes.

A weight against his side brought Jack back to the world of the half awake. Sometime during the night, Daniel had moved closer and was currently sleeping with his face pressed into Jack's ribs. Jack carefully and slowly eased himself away, heading to the bathroom to relieve his bladder. Daniel was in the same position when Jack returned and didn't stir when Jack crawled back between the warm blankets. Jack smiled and closed his eyes again. He was fully awake now and he doubted he'd fall back asleep.

Daniel's deep breaths, the sound of one of his neighbors starting his car, the ticking of the clock, all of them the sounds of early morning. Before, before Central America, early morning had been Jack's favorite time of the day. He and Daniel would lie in bed, sometimes fucking, always making love, and sometimes just being held in each other's arms. It gave a feeling of rightness to their lives, a sense that, in this one place, in this one time, they had a sanctuary where they could just be themselves and escape the pressures of the everyday world. So Jack relaxed into a pleasant half-dozing state, knowing time was passing by but having no idea how much.

He felt Daniel tense and he remained perfectly still. Daniel pushed himself away from Jack and Jack swore he could practically hear Daniel thinking. The bed creaked as Daniel sat up but Jack remained quiet. Daniel got out of bed and Jack listened to him taking care of morning business. He didn't know exactly what Daniel would do and was surprised when his partner came back to lie beside him once more.

A tentative touch to his bare arm caused goosebumps to rise. Jack didn't move, not wanting to risk messing up the first effort Daniel had made to initiate contact since coming home from Central America. Daniel moved the rest of his body closer and slid his hand up Jack's arm, finally resting it on Jack's shoulder. He pressed his cheek against Jack's side, his breath tickling Jack's ribs.

"Jack," Daniel whispered, but it wasn't a call for Jack to respond. It was almost as if Daniel was testing the waters again. Daniel rested his cheek on Jack's chest briefly and then turned his head and then gave a fleeting, tantalizing lick to Jack's nipple. That was quickly followed by a few featherlight kisses before Daniel pulled away completely.

Daniel gave a sigh and although he couldn't quite make out the words, Jack could hear Daniel muttering something under his breath.

"Okay," Daniel said then, louder. "I can."

"Let me..." Daniel whispered and Jack opened his eyes to see Daniel now propped up on one elbow and squinting down into Jack's face. He smiled when Jack looked at him and brought his other hand up to rest on Jack's chest.

"Let me, Jack," Daniel repeated. He moved his hand in a slow circle. "I can't, but maybe for you, I can...let me do this for you, Jack."

Jack shifted slightly and brought his hand up to rest over Daniel's. "I don't expect you to *do* anything. Believe me, my right hand and I have spent plenty of time together over the years."

"I want to. I want to do this for you," Daniel said. He put his head down on Jack's chest. It sounded almost like a plea.

"You're sure?"

Daniel laughed and the vibration tickled Jack's ribs. He sat up and looked down at Jack again. "Don't move," he ordered.

Jack nodded and put his arms at his sides. Daniel moved, straddling Jack's thighs.

"Be careful of your leg," Jack warned. "I can just see us trying to explain *that* to Fraiser."

Daniel shook his head and covered Jack's mouth with his hand. "No moving. No talking. I'm in charge." He removed it when Jack nodded again.

"Just relax and let go."

Jack wondered if the order Daniel gave was to Jack or a reminder to himself, maybe both. His heartbeat quickened as Daniel swept his hands over Jack's chest and then bent down to swirl his tongue around each of Jack's nipples.

"Nice," Daniel said, gently blowing against each bud and watching them tighten before moving upwards towards Jack's throat. He pressed his lips against the pulse beating in Jack's neck and then against the underside of his chin. His hair tickled Jack's nose, causing Jack to pray he wouldn't sneeze. A nip on the chin brought Jack's attention back to the moment. Daniel covered Jack's mouth with his own while he gripped Jack's hair. Jack brought a hand up to caress Daniel's back only to be brushed away.

"Jack...you weren't listening. I'm in charge, remember?" Daniel's breath was hot in his mouth and Jack pushed into the kiss. And then Daniel pulled away with a sigh.

"Da..."

"Quiet," Daniel whispered in his ear, moist heat that tickled. A scrape of teeth against his ear lobe made Jack squirm. He could feel pressure building and he shifted again, trying to get comfortable.

"Building up steam?" Daniel asked in a low murmur. "Guess I'll have to take a look."

Jack groaned as Daniel moved again. If Daniel didn't take care of things soon, Jack was sure he was going to explode. Daniel closed his fingers over Jack's cock. Jack arched his back and groaned again. He dug his fingers into the blankets, twisting the weave tightly.

"You like that, don't you?"

Daniel stroked his fingers along the length, a gentle butterfly touch. Jack shivered and thought of dying. Without warning, Daniel dove in, covering him with his mouth and then pulled back slightly. He did it again and again while his hands gripped Jack's hips and his nails scraped the sensitive skin there.

Jack pushed up against him and saw sparks explode behind his closed eyelids.

He let out a hoarse yell as he came--not even a word, just a sound of completion. Daniel looked at him; his eyes more pupil than iris and then bent forward to rest on Jack's torso and letting out a loud groan.

"Danny," Jack said, and this time he didn't care. He brought his arms around Daniel's bare back and rested them there on the sweat-slicked skin. "You okay?"

"I...just...it hurt," Daniel's voice sounded slightly strangled.

"Hurt?"

"I think maybe...Oh God."

"I think maybe we should call Janet or something," Jack suggested. He didn't want to, because there was no way they'd ever be able to explain, but he didn't like seeing Daniel in pain.

"No. No. Just...few minutes."

Jack nodded and tightened his hold, running his fingers up and down Daniel's spine, massaging muscles where they felt tight and slowly felt Daniel relax into him.

"Was it good?" Daniel asked, slightly breathless as if he'd been running on some alien world.

"Good," Jack whispered. He stroked Daniel's hair, letting the curls on the nape wrap around his fingers. "More than good, Daniel."

"Glad," Daniel said. He pushed his head against Jack's hand like a cat begging to be stroked.

"Shh. Don't move." Jack could feel the thump of Daniel's heart against his chest.

"It hurts."

Jack opened his arms, and Daniel slid off of him sideways, only to wind up lying on his side, looking at Jack.

"Better?"

Daniel frowned and Jack smiled, "It still hurt?"

Daniel shook his head and touched himself lightly. "No, not there. Here." He moved his hand to his leg and rubbed the muscle. He was still frowning and Jack couldn't figure out why. "Wh..."

"You're not just saying it, are you?" Daniel asked.

And Jack wondered what turn Daniel's brain just took because he knew it was going to take a minute or so for Jack to catch up. "Saying? Oh." Jack shook his head and touched Daniel's cheek, rubbing his thumb across it. "Believe me, Daniel. You do that to me again, and you'll be peeling me off the ceiling."

Daniel smiled. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Jack answered. "But I think I'm the one who should be saying the thank you." He raised himself up on one elbow.

Daniel turned over onto his back. "I didn't...you know." He gestured to his cock. "Just a twitch. And it hurt."

"Yeah," Jack said. "And God knows I can't believe I'm asking this, but what did you feel?"

"Feel?"

"Feel as in emotion. You know all that kinda psycho mumbo jumbo stuff." Jack asked the question without taking a breath. It didn't make it any easier.

True to form, Daniel didn't give him a quick answer. It was a few minutes before he said a word. "I felt---well, I felt like I always do when we...well except for...." his voice trailed off.

"I'm only gonna get all mushy and deep this one time so you'd better listen up," Jack said, going for gruffness but knowing he was winding up sounding more like an idiot. Talking about deep stuff had never been his thing. And damn! He swore Daniel giggled at that comment, but Daniel, unless he was high on some joy juice from the infirmary or under the influence of some alien substance, didn't giggle.

"What we...you and I... have isn't based on how well your penis performs. Or mine either for that matter," Jack pointed out. "Let's face it. I'm gonna be going to the doc for, uh, let's just call it a limp willie," Oh that was most definitely a giggle and Jack had to keep back his own laughter, "way before you. Hell, Daniel, you think I only want you for your body? Can you honestly say you only want me for mine?"

Daniel's eyes had been closed but he opened them when Jack fell silent. "I'm not that shallow."

"Did you think I was?"

"Of course not." Daniel was indignant. "I know you're not."

"Then we don't have a problem do we?" Jack asked with a gentle smile. "Love isn't sex alone."

"No, I know that," Daniel said. He was quiet for a moment, just looking up at Jack, his eyes fixed on his partner's. "I guess maybe for a while we're going to have to be a little more creative."

Jack bent down and kissed him, reluctantly pulling away when he needed to come up for breath. " Guess it's a good thing you've always thought outside the box, Daniel," Jack said as he laid back down. "I'm sure you'll come up with all sorts of 'creative' things for us to try."

"Jack," Daniel said and took Jack's hand in his, his fingers pushing between Jack's.

"Me too," Jack said. Because after all, just as love wasn't sex alone, neither was it words.

  



End file.
